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Want to know what Elle has been up to? Read below.
View my progress for 2004.

I'm in the midst of making plans for the next 6 months. I just finish re-reading my morning pages for the past month. I'm realizing a lot of stuff every day but I need to review it so that I don't lose it.

The first thing I noticed is that I wrote: "I always felt that it was really important to get people to believe in me, and now I realize that the most important thing is for me to believe in me". Wow, what a revelation and thank god I read it over because it would have been lost. Just even the thought of me believing and having faith in my ability gives me more energy and enthusiasm.

Another thing that I wrote that I found inspiring was that "things don't have to be perfect as long as they move you forward". I tend to be a perfectionist, and although that is noble and it can move you forward in some circumstances, for the most part it keeps me from moving forward because when is something ever perfect anyway. And perfection, I think, is entirely subjective.

The last thing is that the journal that I bought myself about a month ago, has a quote on the front and the bookmark. It's by one of my favorite people, Maya Angelou. What an incredible person she is. I really look up to her and I would love to meet her one day. The quote is: "The desire to reach for the stars is ambitious. The desire to reach hearts is wise". DUH! And here I was reaching for the stars and feeling so empty. If you reach for hearts and you touch hearts, then everything is going to fall into place. In keeping with that, I also wrote: "(money) is a means of measuring pleasure". If you create a movie that touches hearts and that people love, then they're going to want to see it again and tell their friends about it. The more people see it, the more money you make! I know some people get turned off when you start talking about money but I don't think it's the horrible monster it's made out to be.

That's all for now. I hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

Oh ya! One last thing. If you have a chance, be sure to listen to my internet radio show with Val. It's on at 7pm Eastern time at www.natradio.com. The show is called Frequency and we interview up and comming bands and listen to their CDs. ttys

I just filled out my first film festival entry forms for Wrangler and Coffee Break. It's for the World of Comedy International Film Festival. Wish me luck.

I've also still been working on trying to get my films on my website. So far no luck but I did make a graphic for Coffee Break that I really like. Check it out at ellefilme.com

As for sculpting my body, I went to work out 3 times this week. It was great, but it does take a big chuck of my time, so I have to re-work how I set up my schedule. It's always something!

Have a great week!

I must say, this is the best vacation I ever had. No pressures. Just total rest and relaxation.

I've been keeping pretty busy though. I've done a redesign on my logo, website and business plan for Elle Filme. I've also been re-examining my goals and plans. So far I've achieved more than I thought in terms of shooting films, but I still haven't gotten the word out in the industry that I'm here. I can be shooting forever and never be "discovered" if I don't do something about it. So that is one of my focuses. I'm also going to be focussing on my health and vitality and sculpting a new body! ;-) I figured, if I'm going to be famous, I better look as good as I can. (Hee Hee)

I'm in the process of converting my films into web-ready films so I can put them on my website. That will be a good step for me. I'm also going to focus on sending my films to film festivals. I know! It's about time!

That's it for now. Have a great week! Love Peace Love. :-)

Hey! How are you? Things are going great! For one this is my first vacation in a very long time. My plans are to enjoy it thoroughly! :-)

Well, I shot my last film, for this year, last weekend. It was a difficult shoot - what else is new. Seems, so far, that it's never easy. But that makes me think of a movie called, "A League of Their Own". There is a scene about 2/3rds of the way in where the male lead, played by Tom Hanks, is trying to talk the main character, played by Gina Davis, to stay until the end of the season. She gives him all kinds of excuses but she ends it by saying, "it's just too hard". Meaning it's too hard to play the game and balance life. Tom Hanks answers her with: "It's the hard that makes it great". I love that line. Val and I love that line. In fact we love it so much that we had it engraved into our newest friendship rings.

It's the hard that makes it great because when you accomplished what you set out to, the more difficult it was, the more pride you can take in what you accomplished. And so, I'm very proud of the fact that no matter how difficult it gets, I continue to move forward and that tells me that no matter what, I will succeed.

Love Peace Love. :-)

I was away on a business trip in Montreal for most of the week. What a great city it is. It was very successful in many ways. Most importantly, I figured out the script for the short I will be shooting on October 2nd. Now I have to find the actors and take care of the wardrobe and the special effects. I know how I'm going to shoot it so I think that things are on schedule.

Today, I have a internet radio show to do. I will be hosting it with my best friend Val. I can't wait! It's going to be so much fun!

Funny thing happened when I got home. It felt like I had been gone for a very long time. My place felt very foreign in. It made me realize that I must do everything that I can to turn a profit with my films so that I can buy myself a house and move out of this apartment that has grown WAY too small for me.

Well, that's it for now. Hope you have a great weekend. I can't believe how cold it's gotten already! Love Peace Love. :-)

I really don't know what to say today. I've had a lot happen to me in the past week but nothing really worth mentioning.

I haven't heard from the Bloor Cinema guy and the film festival just started so I don't really expect to hear from him for another week. I did try calling him though, but to no avail.

I spent most of the week working on a new logo for my film company and reformatting one of my computers. I'm also gearing up to shoot one more short on Oct 2nd. I looked into using real explosive and squibs. At first I thought it was going to be feasible but when you're using explosives, you have to get a permit, you have to have the cops there AND, the most expensive part of it all, you have to have insurance. Well there goes that idea down the drain.

I haven't given up yet though. I have an idea to simulate an explosive so I'll be looking into that shortly.

Well, that's it for now. Hope you have a great day. Love Peace Love. :-)

Well, I did it! I handed over my films to the Bloor Cinema. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. Which proves a point that I've been trying to make for myself that things aren't as big or scary as they appear to be when you're about to embark on something. I must keep this in mind as I keep moving forward in my career.

Anyway, I handed over the movies to Paul and he told me that he would try to have a look at them that night on the big screen. I was thinking "how amazing would that be to see my own films on the big screen" but at the same time I was thinking "OH MY GOD! The mistakes are going to be even bigger!!!". So, I didn't say anything to him. Haven't heard from him either.

I had issues handing the movies over to him too because I don't think the quality is that good, and I told him that too because I didn't want him to think that I thought they were great quality. Don't get me wrong, I think they are amazing films, I just don't think I did a good job shooting them in terms of the quality of the image. And I'm ok with it too because that was the point of making these three films. One was to get the experience and two was to learn from the experience. I feel very confident that the short I'm going to shoot, either at the end of September or the beginning of October, will be head over heels above the ones I shot earlier this year because I learned so much already.

I'm really having a lot of fun learning and creating and I think that's the point of it all. If I'm not having fun and I'm not pleasing myself then there is no point in doing all of this.

So now I'm saving my projects and I'm going to be installing a whole bunch of new programs on my computer. I'm going to be redesigning my Elle Filme site and reviewing my business plan so that I can start profiting from what I am doing. Finally, I'm going to start getting ready to shoot my short and I'm going to start writing the script for the feature that I'm going to shoot next spring.

Hope you have fun doing what you love. Love Peace Love. :-)

Hi Everyone! Hope your enjoying your summer so far. I'll tell ya, my summer is not at all like I thought it would be. I really thought that July and August would be exclusively party months. But it's not quite turning out that way. Well, not in the way that you would imagine "party" months to be. I did do some partying but I've also been really focused on creating these movies and making them the absolute best that they can be. In my head, some of that is partying too. :-)

Well, I learned a lot this week. A lot about how to prepare a movie to be copied. Also, that there is different qualities of copying. I've learned the short comings of video and what happens when you go from digital video to VHS. I've learned about DVDs and how they work. And I've learned that there is only so much I can do to make my movies as high quality as possible. I've learned that I really have to be more conscientious about filming them.

I've been really hard on myself in the past two weeks and then I reminded myself that these were the FIRST 3 movies I've ever made and taking that into account, I think I've done a great job.

I think that as long as I keep learning lessons from my mistakes and that I keep moving forward and staying focussed on what's most important, I will reach my goals.

Love Peace Love. :-)

Wow! What a week I went through. My emotions have gone through the wringer. I've made some big decisions.

So, first there was the whole situation with my tapes being so horrible. That was really difficult to deal with. It was very frustrating. The DVD problem is still a challenge. I know I need to get a better program than I have in order to make a better quality DVD. In the meantime, I had a friend come by with his DVD burner and we were able to make very good quality DVDs. But I'm still not happy with the results. The quality is not as I think it should be and I believe it is something I can fix and that I will work on it this weekend.

Then there was the situation with the script for October. I spent all day writing on Sunday and all I came out with was 30 pages. I was very disappointed. So, it made me re-evaluate all of my plans. I've made some big changes. I've decided not to shoot October in October. I figured, the goal of shooting October is to make an outstanding feature so that I can make money and get noticed. After thinking about it and talking to some people, I decided that if I'm going to make an outstanding product then I need to put more time and quality into it and not cram it into a small amount of time.

Besides, I have these 3 shorts that I need to get out there to get the ball rolling and I need time to get them to their absolute best. However, I am also going to satisfy my need to shoot one more film by shooting one more short in October. It's going to be the reverse of Coffee Break. Where the Guy and Girl roles are reversed and the woman is the soldier. Not only that but I want to film it a la Lara Croft style because that is what I want to make anyway. I love action/thriller/sci-fi movies which have women as the lead character.

I really feel like I'm at cross-road in my life. I feel that there is a distinctive fork in the road. One of the roads leads down a path that I've been down before. It's just more of the same life that I've been leading for years. I will wake up 10 years down the line and nothing will have changed. I will still be living in the same place and doing the same things that I have always done. The only redeeming quality of this road is that it is familiar.

The other road is where all of my dreams come true. It's very scary because it's not familiar to me. And that's the only thing that is scary about it. But it holds all of the rewards.

Needless to say that I will take the path of my dreams and that I will find safety in my faith. The faith that tells me that what I am doing is the right thing to do.

Well, that's it for now. Love Peace Love. :-)

AAAHHH!!! The train is moving full steam ahead! Yesterday I picked up my video tapes of my shorts and it looked HORRIBLE! The guys told me that the dynamic range of DV is bigger than video and that's why. I still had hope that it would look ok at home.

When I got home I called Paul, my new connection at the Bloor St. theater. I got the connection from Chris, a guy that I met at my party. He told me that they do a little festival once in a while with shorts. Well it turns out that they don't do that anymore, HOWEVER, Paul said he wanted to see the movies and that he could place them before the features that they show. OH MY GOD! That would be so great. Chris is convinced that they will do it.

Now the problem, I mean the Challenge, lies in getting him a good copy. I looked at my video tapes at home and they still looked absolutely HORRIBLE! So I went out to get myself a DVD burner last night and tried making a DVD. It still looks like shit! This is a bigger challenge than I had first envisioned. If I'm unable to make a good copy on DVD I might have to re-edit my films. Argh!

I'm also planning on writing October tomorrow.

I'm tired but I don't have time to be tired. Things are moving along and I don't want it to slow down either. I gotta get myself in better shape.

Well, that's it for now. Hope to have even more good news for you next week. Love Peace Love.

I'm a little late with my update. I skipped a week because I was so busy finishing off my films for the Premiere. And this past weekend was the Premiere so I didn't get around to it. However, I feel I need to take the time now to write about stuff before it slips my mind.

I finished my films just in time for the Premiere. Talk about last minute. The last changes I made were at 4pm and the party started at 7pm. It was a fantastic Premiere/Party. It was way beyond what I had expected. Lots of people showed up and I got a lot of great feedback.

I have to say. I'm pretty proud of myself for pulling it off. But to tell you the truth, it didn't even feel like I was the one. It was kind of like an out of body experience.

Although, I want to acknowledge my success, I don't want to dwell on it because there are bigger fish to fry. My next goal is to shoot a feature. A feature that will get my work noticed and that will get me money so I can start doing this full time and paying people.

I've already started writing the script. It's tentatively called "October". I would like to finish the first draft by the end of the week. Totally feasible.

I also need to get my shorts into festivals, but before I'm able to do that, I need to get them on VHS tape as well as DVD, but first I'll have to get a DVD burner. ARGH!

Looking back on the last few weeks, there were a few things that got me to where I got. Faith that I was going to get there, focus on what was important and time.

I have a tendency to get reflective and then depressed after I conquer a big goal. That's why I've set up another one so that I don't go there because it's just going to work against me. I don't what my train to slow down just yet. I just need to take a deep breath and keep going. Put my whole heart and soul into it. Know what I mean!

Love Peace Love.

Gidday Mate! That's for all of my friends that are headed Down Under!

Well, it's been an eventful week on many fronts. In terms of my career, I've been working hard on Sisi's Dream. I'm having a tough time but to quote a friend who quoted me ;-) I'm looking at it as a challenge.

The think is, I know what I want to achieve with the short but I'm not quite sure how to achieve it, so it's just going to require a lot of experimenting.

On a personal/health front, I had a very difficult time this week as I was experiencing enormous amount of pain from one of my teeth. It turns out I had to have another root canal. Can you believe it, 2 in a month. FUCK! Aside from the pain, I got very angry, because if it weren't for the fact that I've been living poor, I wouldn't have had this problem and at the most I wouldn't have had such a difficult time finding a dentist to do the work at the last minute. It finally hit me that I really have to make huge changes in my life.

I also sent out my invitations to my premiere/party. Wow! The response so far has been truly overwhelmingly great!

Finally, I had a really in depth conversation with my best friend/muse/confidant/cheering section..., Val. I realized that in order to really achieve what I want to achieve, in life and in my career, that not only do I have to believe in what I am doing, but I have to believe in me. I have to truly believe that I am the best person for the job. Because if I don't believe in me then how can I expect other people to believe in me? It's just like the love thing. Everybody always says that you can't truly love someone unless you love yourself. And we all know that's true.

Have an absolutely FANTASTIC day! Love Peace Love.

Buon Giorno! Well, I finished my second film, Coffee Break and I've decided to have a little premier party to show all 3 films that way I have a deadline for the 3rd film and I can finish it asap. The party is August 7th at my place and everyone is invited. It's going to be like a drop in thing and I'll be showing the movies all night long.

I'm definitely going to shoot a feature in October. I came up with a few ideas this week and I'll begin writing it in about a week. The purpose of shooting this feature is not only to shoot a feature but to make money and to get noticed by the industry, which I also hope to do with the 3 films that I shot earlier this year. It's going to have everything. Emotional depth and range, action, philosophy and the lead characters name is Emily.

I've connected with a few people this week. One is an actor/documentary filmmaker/filmmaker. We had a great conversation. The second is this woman who found me via my Elle Filme website. She has a passion for film. The third is a person whom I haven't spoke with in a number of years. He found me through the web as well. Isn't that kewl! I love it.

I'm in the middle of editing Sisi's Dream and I hope to finish it by next Friday. It's quite a complex edit because it's much more conceptual than linear. I must say I'm having a blast! I feel very lucky to live in a time where we can do all of these things and not have to rely on anyone else but ourselves.

Well that's it for now. Have a FANTASTIC week! Love Peace Love.

I'm just about finished Coffee Break. I will definitely finish it this weekend. I'm thinking whether I should have a premier with just Coffee Break and Wrangler and take my time with Sisi's Dream or wait til Sisi's Dream is ready. Decisions, decisions. I don't think either one is wright, necessarily.

Other than that, I've been faced with a few challenges this week. They have nothing to do with the films. One is with regards to the dentist I've been seeing for over 10 years now. I'm a very loyal person but his work has been below par lately and I believe it's time to move on. I tried talking to him about it but it didn't resolve anything. Then someone told me that regardless of if it's him that has changed or if it's me the point is that I am not happy and that is good enough reason to move on. She also told me to trust my instinct, which is something I always tell other people. It's nice to have some people in my life that are able to say it back to me.

Well, that's about it for now. I've got to make some decisions this coming week and follow through on them.

I hope you all have a FANTASTIC week. Love Peace Love.